Cheers! Raise a Glass With These Classic (and Sometimes Hilarious ) Holiday Toasts

Take a line from one of these holiday toasts and raise your glass with confidence!

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Karee

These classic lines are giving us all the feels. They’re also cracking us up. If you’re in charge of making a tribute this Thanksgiving, take a line from one of these holiday toasts and you can raise your glass with confidence!

Inspirational Toasts

“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.” —Maya Angelou

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well if one has not dined well.” —Virginia Woolf

“Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life.” —Rumi

“The turkey. The sweet potatoes. The stuffing. The pumpkin pie. Is there anything else we all can agree so vehemently about? I don’t think so.” —Nora Ephron

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” —John F. Kennedy

“To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.” —Johannes A. Gaertner

All Purpose Toasts

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad. But never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

May neighbors respect you, Trouble neglect you, The angels protect you, And heaven accepts you.

May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light. May good luck pursue you each morning and night.

May your heart be light and happy. May your smile be big and wide. And may your pockets always have a coin or two inside.

Here’s to wine, wit, and wisdom. Wine enough to sharpen wit, wit enough to give zest to wine, wisdom enough to “shut down” at the right time.

Here’s to wisdom. May it come with age!

Funny Holiday Toasts

Here’s looking at you, although heaven knows it takes all of my efforts.

Here’s to you. You may not be as wise as an owl, but you’re always a hoot!

May we be in heaven half an hour before the Devil knows we’re dead!

May those who love you and those who don’t love you, may God turn their hearts. And if He doesn’t turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so you’ll know them by their limping!

Here’s to those who have seen us at our best and seen at our worst and can’t tell the difference.

Let’s have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies.To prosperity! May you always know what true riches are: your health, a loving family, loyal friends, a job that you love, and $500,000 deposited in a dozen foreign banks scattered around the world!

May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you’re going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far.

“May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey plump, may your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious, and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner, stay off your thighs!”

The Take-Away

Now that you have a toast to use, be sure to keep a copy with you, in case you forget when the time comes to give it.

Also, know your audience – what’s funny to you, may not be funny to everyone, so choose wisely!

Lastly, if you’re in charge of making the toast, take the high road and make it uplifting for all, even if it’s tempting to use the opportunity to throw a zinger and that one guest you don’t particularly care for.

Cheers!

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