10 Hilarious Movie-Inspired Ways to Escape Your Toxic Relationship

Photo of author

Life these days can feel like a scene straight out of an over-the-top disaster movie. Having a plan to duck out when things hit the fan is essential. Not to over-dramatize, but breaking free from a toxic relationship can seem as intense as escaping a dystopian sci-fi thriller.

Escape Planning 101

Daniel Craig in Skyfall.
Image Credit: Skyfall2012 Danjaq, LLC.

Since you should always have an escape plan, no matter the situation, here are 10 sure-fire ways to leave your lover, even if they are a bit dramatic. 

1. The “James Bond” Escape

James Bond
Image Credit: 2020 DANJAQ LLC AND MGM.

Hire a helicopter, rappel down from the roof of your building, and fly away into the sunset while your soon-to-be-ex-lover watches in awe. Bonus points if you can do it in a tuxedo.

2. The “Houdini” Escape

Houdini movie scene
Image Credit: Imdb.com.

Disappear without a trace, leaving only a note saying, “I’ve gone to join the circus.” Your lover will spend the rest of their life wondering if you’ve actually become a circus performer or if you’re just really good at disappearing.

3. The “Jurassic Park” Escape

Jurassic Park movie set.
Image Credit: Universal Studios.

Build a giant fence around your house, fill it with dinosaurs, and let nature take its course. Your lover will either be eaten by a T-Rex or be too scared to stick around.

4. The “Mission Impossible” Escape

Mission Impossible movie scene.
Image Credit: Paramount Pictures

Set up a complex system of lasers, motion sensors, and security cameras to protect your escape route. Bonus points if you can do it without breaking a sweat.

5. The “Harry Potter” Escape

Harry Potter scene.
Image Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures.

Use your magic wand to apparate away to safety. Your ex will be left wondering if they were dating a wizard or just losing their mind.

6. The “Indiana Jones” Escape

Indian Jones
Image Credit: Lucasfilm Ltd.

Navigate through a series of booby traps and obstacles to reach the safety of the outside world. Bonus points if you can do it while wearing a fedora.

6. The “Breaking Bad” Escape

Breaking Bad.
Image Credit: Sony Pictures Television.

Fake your own end-of-life moment and start a new life under a new identity. Your toxic loved one will think you’re a goner and move on, allowing you to live your real life in peace.

8. The “Batman” Escape

Image Credit: Warner Bros. Television.

Build a secret underground lair complete with a batmobile and all the latest gadgets. Your ex will never find you, and you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’re the coolest person on the planet.

9. The “Willy Wonka” Escape

scene from Willy Wonka.
Image Credit: Warner Bros.

Create a magical candy factory and invite your lover on a tour. When they fall asleep, sneak away through the chocolate river and leave them to wake up in a world of pure imagination.

10. The “Shawshank Redemption” Escape

Shawshank Redemption scene.
Image Credit: Castle Rock Entertainment.

Dig a tunnel under your house, crawl through the sewer system, and emerge on the other side a free person. Your ex will never see it coming.

While we hope none of our readers ever have to use these escape plans, it’s always good to be prepared for the worst. Just remember to stay safe, stay sane, and always have a backup plan.

Most Dangerous Cities in the World, Ranked: Know Before You Go

serious man
Image Credit: Deposit Photos.

These are 10 most dangerous cities in the world, where stunning landscapes and rich cultural heritage collide with alarming crime rates. We’re not saying don’t travel to these locations, but it’s important to be aware in order to stay safe.

Most Dangerous Cities in the World, Ranked: Know Before You Go

31 Vintage Items Worth Money: Do You Have Any of These?

vintage woman driving car
Image Credit: Canva.

There’s a hot market for antique and vintage items in good, working condition. Remember that Singer sewing machine Grandma held on to all those years, only to pass it on to you? It could sell for as much as $1000 today.

31 Vintage Items Worth Money: Do You Have Any of These?

10 Airlines People Vow Never to Fly With Again No Matter What They Offered

Image Credit: Canva.

A curious traveler took to an online travel forum to pose a contentious question: what airline would you not fly with again because of a horrible experience? Countless passengers recalled flight horror stories involving airlines from all over the world.

10 Airlines People Vow Never to Fly With Again No Matter What They Offered

Here’s What It Was Really Like to Drive a Model T Ford

Ford Model T 12-
Image Credit: Deposit Photos.

Tired of driving down easy-street in your super comfy modern car? Well, have no fear because the Model T is here! Let’s take a ride down memory lane with a humorous look at what traveling in a Model T was like when it first came out.

Here’s What it Was Really Like to Drive a Model T Ford

10 Things Americans Need to Avoid Doing in Europe

woman tourist eating pizza
Image Credit: Deposit Photos

Going somewhere new is always an exciting endeavor. But just as often, it can be daunting; you’ll be in a completely new place, surrounded by people who may not speak the same language as you, and you have to adapt to a different set of cultural norms.

10 Things Americans Need to Avoid Doing in Europe

This article was produced by Our Woven Journey. Featured Image Credit: alphaspirit.it | Canva

+ posts

Demi Michele is a seasoned traveler, turned freelance writer. Having explored most states and ventured internationally, her love for outdoor cafes, new cuisines, and cultural immersion shines through her wide range of articles. Based in Texas with her family and two Scottish Terriers, Demi turns her adventures into captivating travel narratives to share with readers.