Facts About Castle Living That Prove You’d Trade Turrets for Toilets in a Heartbeat

Here’s a little glimpse of what life was truly like in those grand castles of yore – a lifestyle that was less ‘feasting on the finest venison’ and more ‘hoping you don’t get lost on the way to the loo.

1. The Big Chill

Consider this a medieval twist on the Ice Bucket Challenge. Castles, for all their grandeur, weren’t exactly bastions of warmth and comfort. These stony giants were as tough to heat as it was to breach their formidable walls. And in summer? Welcome to your very own stone-baked sauna.

2. You Shall Not Pass

Castles, as it turns out, were not designed by convenience enthusiasts. Need a midnight snack from the kitchen? Prepare for an epic journey through a labyrinth of corridors, winding staircases, and concealed passages. GPS not included.

3. Splish Splash, Taking an Hour-Long Bath

Think drawing a bath after a long day is a chore? Castle dwellers had to heat a small pond’s worth of water, marshaling an army of servants and a bonfire to rival a festival’s.

4. Social Status – Written in Stone

In a castle, the architecture itself was a constant, in-your-face reminder of social hierarchy. The lords and ladies resided in grand chambers at the top, while the servants lived and worked in the less glamorous quarters below.

5. Seasonal Cuisine, Whether You Like It or Not

Those accustomed to year-round avocados would be in for a shock. Castle cuisine was strictly seasonal, so winter salads were off the table, literally. Culinary creativity was, shall we say, a necessary virtue.

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