Recently a Redditor asked, “What is something that your profession allows you to do that would otherwise be illegal?” The responses are unbelievable, and some are humorous. So here are the top-voted reactions to the original poster (OP’s) question.
10. Pulling Fire Alarms
Redditor beefstewforyou shared, “I test fire alarm systems, so I pull the pull stations all the time.” American_Brewed admitted, “You have a lot of people’s dream job and deepest desire.”
9. Poison People
GeorgeWFrance answered, “Poison people.” But they left it open-ended for these responses: chemotherapy tech, Oncologist, and marketing, for sure. However, the OP clarified that they are a bartender.
8. Drug Sales and Distribution
Ok_Fix5746 answered, “Sell and distribute drugs. Without the Pharmacy, things might get sketchy selling pills on the street, haha.” User gogomom shared, “My husband has a pharmacist friend, and he has him in his phone as the drug dealer.“
Finally, molly_777 confessed, “My dad worked for a drug company. When I was a little kid, my teacher asked all the students questions such as: ‘What does your dad do?’ My answer: My dad sells drugs, and then I drew syringes and pills. And some phone calls were made.”
7. Handle Incredibly Toxic Materials Without Protection
BreathOfFreshWater responded, “Handle incredibly toxic materials without protection.” But they left the Redditors to guess their profession. The top-voted guesses include TikTok moderator, Facebook content moderator, high school teacher, gardener, and military.
Finally, however, the OP clarified that they are a shoemaker. “I make shoes. It’s shoes. That’s all. Pressing, heating, and sanding a ton of different materials.”
6. Set off a Ton of Explosives
Upset-Sea6029 answered, “Set off tons of explosives.” One Reddit user joked, “I love the demo range,” and another joked, “Laxative beta tester.” But the OP clarified their profession as a miner allows him to set off tons of explosives.
5. Chopping Bones
Redditor toomunchkin answered, “Chop up people’s bones.” And people guessed DNA researcher, mortician, and serial killer before OP edited the post to include their profession in Orthopaedic Surgery.
WitELeoparD shared, “I had an engineering professor that ran an engineering company with an orthopedic surgeon. He often described orthopedics as ‘Woodworking with people’s bones.’ He taught a design course and gave an example of how he once had to source what are essentially deck screws for bones.”
4. Throwing People Out of an Airplane
Redditor wzl46 stated, “Throw people out of an airplane from more than 2 miles above the earth’s surface.” Loganp812 brought out their inner Bane, “Perhaps he’s wondering why you would shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane.”
One user noted that anything above a mile is illegal. However, Katombs informed, “Not in the Army, it isn’t. If he’s a jumpmaster for airborne soldiers, the regular ‘classic’ round parachutes usually jump at 400m. Source – ex airborne.”
3. Carrying Scissors in an Airport
Okay, true to Reddit’s nature, several people argued the merits of that being an illegal activity. There are regulations about the length of the scissors. So several quilters and crafters argued they could also carry them in the airport.
Nonetheless, I chuckled when Flatblackvw admitted, “I used to do large format graphic installations (vinyl, banners, foam core, etc.). Did the local airports, I could bring a blow torch, knives, scissors, chemicals, and all sorts of things. However, they did not let me bring in a bottle of Deer Park water.” Does the lunacy tickle you?
2. Collect and Catalog CSA Materials
Asteriad confessed, “I collect and catalog child sexual abuse materials after I break into people’s cell phones and computers without their permission.” Several people agreed that the job would be challenging, and the OP stated their employer mandates group or individual therapy.
IWantALargeFarva shared, “My husband was a cop and took a class on computer crimes and how to recover electronic data. Just from the class, he was messed up. He said he couldn’t imagine having to do that as part of his daily job.”
1. Bankruptcy Trustee
Redditor bradland shared a detailed but entertaining accounting. “Working for a bankruptcy trustee. I would break into offices at night and make copies of executive’s hard drives to look for hidden financial information or communications that impugn the claims made by corrupt debtors.”
They continued, “One time, I was sent into a huge networks operation center down in Miami. The trustee had coordinated with the head of security without the debtor owner’s knowledge to secure my access. I showed up with my laptop, tool bag, and flashlight.”
Furthermore, “the head of security handed me a security card and said, ‘This will get you access to anywhere in the building. If anyone asks you what you’re doing, you have them radio me.’ It felt very covert and was by far the most incredible thing I did as part of that job. Oh, and I found a locked QuickBooks file that we cracked and pinned the scumbag for embezzling a bunch of money while trying to stiff creditors. It was glorious!”
What do you think? Do Redditors get to do some crazy illegal business because of their professions, or are you unimpressed? Check out these ten things Americans aren’t ready to hear, according to non-Americans.